Happy.

I like me.

This took a long time!! Don't get me wrong - I am in the gray. Sometimes I do NOT like me, or more specifically, I do not like the decisions that ME makes. And sometimes I like me too much. There are times I need a ladder to get down from the horse.

But still. For the most part:
I.
Like.
Me!

And in learning to like me... I learned all about me. I learned what I like and what I don't like. What I can tolerate and what I can't tolerate (which it turns out is very little). I learned how to live life in that smooth groove of happiness. Sometimes I careen up onto the edge and I'm away from the "sweet spot" or sometimes (especially around the 28th day) I dip into the depths and become needy, irascible and weepy. But I'm very good at maintaining the happy road for the most part.

And there you have it. The answer.
People will buy books, take pills, go to seminars looking for the secret of happiness. Here it is:

KNOW yourself.
LIKE yourself.

I have been thinking about writing this blog for a long time. It has been hard to come up with those two tenets above. Because often when I think about things that make me happy (which there are many many many!!), I think - ok - this is it. THIS is what creates true happiness. But then I realize that without those two little golden rules above, all the little things wouldn't be making me so happy.

So that's it. Those two things. HOW do you achieve them? Get divorced, go to therapy, get married and divorced again, continue therapy, be a single mom who does not date for several years while in therapy, be quite pudgy, have a sister get cancer and die, quit your job to work as a personal assistant and then have your new boss die.
So yeah.
The point is this: When bad things happen, LEARN from them. LEARRRRRRRN FROMMMM THEMMMMMMM.

And it will take more than one lesson. That is an entire paragraph of horrible shit up there. And every one of those things made me get to know myself a little more. The more I learned about myself the more I was able to say, ok - don't care for this bit of me so let me fix it. Oooooh I really do like this about myself, I'll hone that.

And it's a work in progress. Which is one of the sub-thingys of happiness. BE FLEXIBLE. People who are too rigid, don't bend or sway, people who see everything in black and white seem quite unpleasant and unhappy.

Here is a handy list of the small things that contribute to my own personal happiness (but seriously, they are awesome things, they could contribute to yours too!):

BE GRATEFUL
I think this is the number one thing. Go back to an old post on this blog from Father's Day and read my fairy tale. That is the gist of this rule. When you are grateful for what you DO have, it makes what you DON'T have inconsequential. Be awed by the little things. Sunrises and sunsets, a good hair day, the way the cracks in the sidewalk are shaped like a heart, the smell of a campfire, when you get the parking spot closest to the door.

MUSIC
Whichever genre you prefer, listen to it at a really high volume during your favorite time of day. I am a morning person. I am full of energy, my ego is not depleted (more on that very real phenomena here), and I am full of coffee and breakfast. Blasting music in the car on the way to work has me arriving to work actually GIDDY. Sometimes I go into the routing assistants' office and do the running man. Which gives everyone a very hearty laugh so the happiness (and maybe a little fear) is just spread all over the place. Whatever your time of day is, blast some music that you love. It's a very real happiness generator. Just look.

LOWER YOUR STANDARDS
Here is where many will stop reading. That's cool. But if you would just take my advice, your standards would be low enough to read my drivel and you might just learn something. All I'm saying is to pay close attention to need versus want. If your wants are going largely unfulfilled and its because they are actually financially or physically or mentally out of your do-ability range, let it go. Be happy with less. Now please please pleeeeeeeeeease don't misunderstand me. Reach for the stars. Follow your dreams. If you can dream it you can do it. Yes, Yes, those are also good pieces of advice. Except when they are not. How do you know?
Look at the happiness factor. How happy could you be without it? Would getting it cause you greater unhappiness than the happiness you will be rewarded with at the end? WHY do you want it? I'm just saying to analyze how much the desire and inability to achieve or get something is weighing on you and would you be happier to just let it go? If it's important enough to you to go for it anyway, then duh.
But you might find that you can actually create a list of things that ARE that important to you and focusing on that list will make all the smaller, less important things become...well - less important. And the list will morph over time. Growth and flexibility baby!

FIND YOUR TOLERANCE LEVEL
This has been very instrumental in my joy. I found that watching the news just made me sangry. Sad and angry all the time. So I quit. Ignorance is bliss friends. And I understand that news free lifestyle is not for everyone. I'm just using it as my own example. Facebook, religion, the news, sitting among a group of coworkers who are heavily gossiping. I can't. So I quit all those things. Just WALK AWAY from the things that annoy you and you can't change anyway. Fill your life with the things that bring you joy. I take a LOT of hikes. I watch birds. Spend time with my family. Play games and do puzzles. Read. Volunteer. Dance.
Less annoyance in your life = More Happiness.
Don't forget that you can't change the actions of others, you can only change your reaction to them.
Remember that sentence. It's very helpful. Thanks Mom.

FIND THE GRAY
Read almost any post in this entire blog to understand what this means. BE FLEXIBLE. Remember that nearly all situations have a could-be-better, could-be-worse scenario. Consider the middle ground. Moderation is your bud. Lots of things aren't as bad as they seem.

DON'T HATE YOUR JOB
This one is very tricky because some people can't change their job even if they really want to. I understand. I have been stuck in jobs that make me extremely unhappy before. But if you lower your standards it might be worth it because you know...Biggie knew.

BE KIND
It feels great. For everyone involved. I'll end with this perfect quote from Maya Angelou:

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

The Visitor

I had a visitor. I believe it. I believed it in that moment and I believe it now. I felt her. She was in the car with me on Wednesday morning.

Often, when I think of Kate, the thing that saddens me, frustrates me, is the question of music. Katie was a music fanatic. She started going to live shows as a teenager, raves and concerts and festivals. Her CD book was so fat and heavy you needed a back brace to lift it from the back seat of her Corolla. When she was in her late teens and early twenties she was all about that DRUM n bass. She was a raver all the way down to the blue tips in her hair. She liked classic rock and hip hop and alternative too.

My brother once got us all (very very good seats) tickets to see Straight No Chaser and as we were leaving the Meyerhoff, Kate, flushed and glowing said, "This was the best night of my life!"

But later she was heavily into pop. She LOVED Miley Cyrus (luckily she never lived to see the twerking Miley. Although I know she would have scratched someone's eyes out for saying negative things about Miley. Katie UNDERSTOOD the misunderstood).  She liked Pink and Black Eyed Peas and Coldplay and Katie Perry.

Now, when songs come out that I believe she would like, I ask my brothers. Do you think Kate would have liked this? When Girl on Fire by Alecia Keys came out I felt like she would have loved it. But maybe, too I was just feeling like the song was about Katie. I want to ask her. I want to share songs with her. I want to know.

When I heard Chandelier by Sia, I thought, I'll bet Kate would have liked this. And the video is so raw and odd and beautiful and stirring that it just makes you feel something anyway, even if you're not sure what. So I downloaded the song onto my iTunes on my phone.

On Wednesday I got all excited to listen to it for the first time since downloading it. I was getting onto 695, I was looping around the cloverleaf onto the highway and I hit play. The volume was all the way up (the only way to listen to music at 5:20 in the morning).

As soon as the song came on, within the first three seconds, I burst into tears. It was so sudden and severe a feeling, no a sensation, that it was like someone punched me in the gut. Only instead of pain it was JOY. It was as if a gigantic bellow had just pumped an impossibly large quantity of peacehappyknowledgejoy into me. I swelled with....love. Or understanding. Or utter and complete peaceful satisfaction. And I felt her.

And when I realized it, I said, out loud, "Are you here?" It came out like a teeny croaky little mouse voice because I was crying so hard. I almost couldn't see to drive for the tears and the snot and the heaving.

In my head I heard, Of Course.

It was my own voice I heard. My own, inside-my-head voice. But there is not a shred of doubt that she was there and she answered. I just heard the answer in my own voice.

There was a moment, like a shimmery crackly point of breath holding anticipation where it was like she was waiting to see if I would acknowledge her presence and then I shouted, "I knew you would like this song!!!"

And there she stayed. I saw her in my mind, with her eyes closed and the biggest almost-can't-even-fit-on-your-face smile and she was swaying to the music. I tried to sing the song but I was crying too hard and it sounded like gravel but still we smiled and swayed and listened together.

As I sang and cried I said to her, "I miss you so much," and she smiled a little acknowledgement smile. And it peeled grief off of me.

When the song finished I fumbled for my phone and said out loud, "I have another one I want to know if you like!"

But she had gone. I knew she was gone. I felt the air in the car deflate. It was empty but for me and my tears and the phone in my hand. I didn't feel sad. Well not too much. I still played the next song (Trees by twenty one pilots) and I still tried to sing along with it. And I do think she would like it. But that is another one, like Girl on Fire, that I think the lyrics are like me talking to her. It's more for me.

And after she was gone and I was onto the next and the next song, I was still so pumped full of adrenaline that I looked down and saw that I was going 78 miles an hour. I immediately slowed down and actually laughed out loud because I pictured trying to explain to the police if I got pulled over, But I was communicating with my dead sister!

The laughter cleared the air of any little bit of sadness I felt at her departure and the lingering smile on my face lasted the entire day.

Parental Fail

Fourteen year olds do not need a smart phone. Or children of any age. Smart phones are ruining your children. That I am aware, Hanna is the only one of her friends that does not have a smart phone. Which also makes her the only one, when in a social situation, who is head up, facing the other humans, ready to engage in that thing called conversation. The rest are head down, thumbs flying.

It’s awful. 

And to be clear, if you are my friend, and your child has a smart phone, I don’t meant to offend you. But it’s awful. 

There is nothing, NOTHING anyone can say to convince me that the smart phone for your child was/is/will be a good idea. I’m not even sold on ANY phone for children though I do see a few merits in that. But it took me a long time. Hanna was also the last of her friends just to GET a (flip phone) phone at twelve. 

This is not to say I’m against technology. Hanna has an iPad which they use at school every single day and it is very useful. The games are fun, having all your music right there on one device is wonderful. I admit, I would feel lost without Google. 

My concern becomes when you give the world wide internet to a child/teenager and make it mobile so they can access it any time any place so easily, why WOULDN’T she? Candy crush is fun. Getting likes feels good. But so does smoking pot and getting drunk. Instant gratification is the new norm and we are in a race to give it to our kids faster than our neighbors and co-workers.

We are a nation that does not tell our children no anymore. We have NOT become our mothers and we WON’T ask you if you’d jump off a bridge if all your friends were doing it because if someone could video you doing it and post it on YouTube before you hit bottom, that might make it ok. 

I have seen with my own eyes Hanna standing in a group of her friends, IN A SOCIAL SITUATION and all of them except for her are on their phones and she is just standing there.  I know I cannot be the only person to have screams of WHY WHY WHY?? going through my head at this situation.

And let me stop you before you start: if you are going to tell me that you gave your child a smart phone but put limits and restrictions on him, save your breath. Mostly because I don’t believe you but also because the limits and restrictions still don’t erase the fact that you caved in the first place man.

Of course we are raising a nation of entitled brats….we give them whatever they want. Remember when our parents told us if we wanted something bad enough we had to work hard for it? Remember when hanging out with our friends meant walking our street or skateboarding or riding bikes or goofing off and listening to records and making lists of the things we’d have in our shared NYC apartment and the names of our future children. Remember when during car rides we TALKED? Or sang? Or endured a silence that made us – gasp – THINK? 

If we punish our children and tell them to go ‘reflect’ on their actions they will probably ask us what the hell reflect means. Reflection is for priests and Buddhists and such. Not for people who have snaps to be chatting and KIKS to be ….uh….kikking? Our kids don’t do things anymore because it’s the right (most of the time harder) thing to do. Now they just do it for the vine. 

If it’s just as cheap on your cell plan to add the smart phone it doesn’t mean you HAVE to. If you give it to them as a reward for good grades or good behavior, maybe we should take YOURS away for poor decision making. If you want to reward them, take them camping or to Six Flags. You know, spend TIME with them where you might have to TALK. 

I’m not saying that your child shouldn’t have or be a part of social media (I’ll say that next blog), but I’m saying they don’t need to have it in their pocket 24/7. I’m saying that our children should be able to fill their time, downtime or social time or free time without the help of a smart phone. Mine can do it. And that’s not a boast, she SHOULD be able to. Can yours?

 

  

Finding the Sanity

So I wrote a book and now I’m a paranoid schizophrenic. I’ve published it myself on Amazon. Meaning you can only get it digitally. If you have a Kindle you can read it on that. But there are so many ways around not having a Kindle. My Aunt Ang has a Nook and she downloaded the free Kindle app onto her Nook and read it that way. If you have a smart phone or a tablet or an iPad or anything with internet you can download the Kindle app or even a free eReader from Amazon.

But you can’t hold the book in your hands and read it. Because I’m too impatient? Because it isn’t good enough? Because the world just doesn’t realize the amazingness of it all yet? Because you just can’t.

I’m ecstatic. I’m giddy!!! It’s truly the moment of all moments in my life! Isn’t it? Did I make a mistake? I sent it out to agents and got rejected. A lot. But everyone does right? (really, they do. Really.)

And then I read an article about the way writers are taking their own fate into their own hands and “making it happen!” woohoo! So I did it. I stopped hating on digital books. I embraced my Kindle. I love the thing! (do you believe me yet?) (more importantly, do I believe me yet?) I sent it to an editor for some developmental editing. I tortured my BFF Asha into helping me do copy editing (which I am very very terrible at doing so if you try to make sense of the comma situation, you will probably go cray).

I paid someone to create my cover (lysyee of 99designs). And I did it. But should I have done it? Is it good enough (this is rhetorical!!!) ?? And here goes my brain:

Duh! Of Course it’s good enough. It’s brilliant.

Oh God it’s so awful. It’s smut. It’s garbage. Everyone will hate it.

Now that’s just being silly. SOME people won’t hate it.

They better not because it’s so good!

What does it matter? Who did you write it for?

Shhhhh. Mom, your voice inside my head isn’t welcome in this convo.

She has a point.

I wrote it for the world so the world needs to love it!

You know how asinine that statement is right?

Yes. Fine. Some will like it some won’t.

Ok. Good. Conversation over. I’m ok.

But there were only 2 downloads yesterday and no new reviews for a week you know…..

Gahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

And just writing this all down has helped me realize I’m being nuts. I’m stepping away from the amazon author report page.

Will it be a printed, real, hold in your hands and turn the pages book one day? Hopefully. If not, it still came from me. I did it. I DID IT! Take that schizophrenia!!!!

Here’s the link if you don’t know already (or haven’t seen it the nauseating number of times I’ve talked about it on facebook or twitter or instagram). You can read sample chapters on amazon too!

I’m going to go and keep working on book #2. To start this whole process all over again. What’s the definition of insanity again??

http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Gray-Sara-Landers-ebook/dp/B00JPYW4ME/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1399388685&sr=8-1&keywords=finding+the+gray

Need vs. Want

I've been at my new job for 9 months now. I've reached full gestation and I'm ready to spit this baby out. I have no idea what that means but since it's been 9 months I wanted to use that phrase. I'm not spitting anything out and I don't have any kind of baby, job or otherwise.

But this new job of mine (dazzling friendly parts dealer at your neighborhood appliance store. I sling dryer belts and ignitors!) has me realizing that many MANY people are confused in the need vs want department. I'd like to just clear it up a bit.

And here's my disclaimer:
I'm not telling anyone that they shouldn't be able to spend their hard earned money on whatever the heck they want to spend it on. What I'm saying is that sometimes, having an excess of hard earned money (or easily earned money, money freely gotten, whatever, just money) causes people to forget that what they NEED, what they WANT and what they DESERVE are not the same.

So here we go:

If your dishwasher breaks, leaks, stops mid cycle, or just refuses to clean your dishes anymore, you don't  have to call the repair place crying, screaming, cussing or being huffy. You just need to remember what you have forgotten. You HAVE a dishwasher that works. It is called left hand and right hand. Or your children's hands, if you have them. The amount of people acting like oxygen deprived maniacs who must have a working dishwasher or the world will come to a complete halt has been the most shocking part of my new gig.

And oh-my-jesus it's the day before christmas and you're having 14 people over and what, pray tell will you do without a working dishwasher???? Fourteen people you say? That's 28 hands!
Imagine that, instead of spending that energy on the dry heaves you're having because you're so worked up about the repair man not being able to come RIGHTTHISSECOND, that you told all your guests, with a gracious chuckle, that the dishwasher broke and you're washing, who's drying? Sometimes, the most fun we have after a family meal is all hanging in the kitchen chatting, arguing, horsing around, while washing the dishes.

If you have the type of guests that will look down on your for having a broken dishwasher, or that aren't willing to lend a hand and make it a group effort, then like mother used to say, they aren't friends worth having.

Your oven stopped cooking while the turkey was halfway done? Your frig conked out the morning of the big feast? Your dryer won't dry your clothes? Those things SUCK, they really do. But think about the hilarity of the story you could be telling in ten years to your kids, grandkids, whomever - if you don't LET it destroy your holiday.


   .....and we had the turkey, in the roasting pan in the back seat of the car to take it to Susie's house and use her oven, halfway cooked, covered in foil and we made Johnny sit on the floor next to it and dad stopped at a red light and sloshed turkey juice all over the place and the car smelled like Butterball for a month!

C'mon, it's a little funny.

Here's the point. We have gotten so used to having it all, that when something happens to disrupt our vision of how our life SHOULD be, we get all bent out of shape and crazy and make ourselves, and our poor appliance service people's lives miserable.

God forbid have to roll down your window by hand anymore. Wash a dish with soap and water. Hang a towel to air dry. Look up a word in a big dusty book on the bookshelf because Wifi is down. (remember dictionaries??) Oh the inconvenience!!!!!

This is our mindset:
I worked hard for this money and I choose to spend it on these devices and contraptions and service agreements that will make my life easier and I paid my good hard earned money for it so they damn well better work and work right every single time. And if they don't i'm gonna bitch and i'm gonna bitch hard and loud because I don't deserve this and SOMEBODY better make it right.

This is the truth:
Nothing is perfect. Control boards fail. Mechanical parts break. Stupid, inconvenient, annoying stuff HAPPENS. It does. And it will forever.  And you getting all worked up about it will not erase it or take it back or make it UNhappen.


So make this choice. Laugh it off. Heave a sigh and bang your dammit doll against the wall a few times. Then think about the people in this world who don't even have a dish to wash. Who are stuck in the hospital getting chemo but would LOVE to have to wash every single dish in your household if they could trade places with you. Who just lost their home and everything they possess because a typhoon scooped their house up and carried it out to sea but would love to have all of your clothing even though they would have to wash AND dry it by hand.

Lucky you to have these things, even if when they break it is a giant pain in the bum.
Use your energy for something else.
Be grateful for all that OTHER stuff you have that you don't really need.
And be nice to your repairman when he gets to your house, HE is your savior after all.

Setting yourself straight

Here is the lesson I'd like to give myself today:

Watch out where you put your insecurities. Don’t burden others with them.

If Hanna asks me for something that I cannot give her whether it’s because I can’t afford it or it’s beyond my time limits or ability, I get annoyed that I have to tell her no. I feel bad because I want to give the child everything and telling her no, ever, goes against the feeling I have of wanting to give her the world.

So I say no in an irritated way.

That’s silly.

She’s a child. They ask for stuff.

I’m an adult, I have to set boundaries and limits.

My job. Her job. We have clearly defined roles. But my own insecurity about having to tell her no, annoys MYSELF and I get short and huffy with HER.

 

If people post on FB or send me texts or put pictures on instagram of themselves accomplishing an incredible physical task such as running miles, losing tons of weight, being the crossfityogaaerobicsrunningtriathaletekickboxing champion of the world….I feel annoyed.  I’m overweight. I’m out of shape. This is my own fault and this is my own insecurity. Why should I put my insecurity onto them? GOOD for that person and let them brag about it. If it was so easy, I’d be doing it too. THEY did something I HAVE NOT. They didn’t do something I CANNOT, but something I HAVE NOT. If I don’t want the annoyed/jealous feeling, I should get off my large and quivering ass and do the thing myself. But I should never say things to or about someone for doing what I haven’t just because that’s MY insecurity.

 

It’s so easy to burden others with your own insecurities. If I think about all the times I get annoyed, angry, act like a jerk, say or think mean things, I can attribute some or many of those times to my own insecurities. Even road rage. People are idiots when they drive. I can’t change that. I can’t CONTROL that. There you go. An insecurity. Not being in control (big one for a lot of people).

 

I think that if people would just take a minute, step back, take a little stock into your own mind, be rational, be HONEST, they might see that their behavior towards others is really more of a reflection of themselves and not the action of the other person.

 

But of course, don’t forget to FIND THE GRAY in this whole mess. I’d never say ALL my feelings of inadequacy are due to my own insecurities. Sometimes people really just are A-holes. I just like to sort out whether it’s me or them....or both! :)

Father's Day Fairy Tale

When I was little I loved Grimm's Fairy Tales. I always liked how there were two brothers, one handsome, one homely. Or a king with two daughters, one smart, one beautiful. I always wanted to be the smart one. The beautiful ones ended up dying at the hand of a troll or wicked hag.

I didn't understand when I was young that these fairy tales always had a moral. They weren't as obvious as Aesop's lessons and I mostly liked them for the imagery. Even if it's hokey, I'd like to have a go at writing my own fairy tale (I mean, it won't be Beedle the Bard or anything, but it will scratch an itch).

So.

There were once two brothers who liked to complain. The older  brother complained that the king's taxes were too high and he couldn't afford all the luxuries he wanted despite working hard for them. The second, younger brother moaned about life not being exciting enough, boredom and the sad lack of things to do to keep him happy.

The two brothers were walking on the outskirts of town one day, chatting about the miserable state of the kingdom. They came upon a fallen tree, and the tree spoke to them. 

"What have you to complain about?" demanded the tree.

The brothers were taken aback. 

"We have the right to complain," shouted the older brother at the tree, shaking his fist at the splay of branches spread across the path. "The king keeps too much of our wages, he shares too much with the poor, they should have to work as hard as we do!"

"There's nothing to DO in this town," cried the younger brother, sitting down next to the tree and picking at it's dying trunk. "What joy does life bring me these days? I have nothing or no one to keep me occupied!"

The tree creaked and moaned softly as it neared the end of it's life and told the two brothers this:

"I will grant you each one wish. One temporary wish. It will last for ten days. You may wish for whatever you please but be warned, ten days only. After the ten days are up, whatever you wished for will be gone, as well as anything you accumulated directly because of the wish. You will still have your memories of these ten days after they have expired, but that is all that will remain of the wish."

The two brothers were ecstatic. Only a moment passed when the older brother spoke. This brother was quick to act before thinking and regarded only the here and now.

"Riches. I want unlimited riches for ten days," he told the tree. 

"And so it shall be," the tree said to him and the older brother ran off, back toward the town.

The younger brother took much longer to decide. Despite his many complaints, the younger brother was a thoughtful man, not prone to rash decisions.  

"I'd like to have a debilitating affliction," he told the tree confidently. 

"And so it shall be," said the tree and the younger brother became blind and simple minded. 

The next ten days passed extremely well for the older brother. He spent all of his time having adventures with friends, passing the time with women, eating feasts and acquiring fine clothes and jewels. He drank spirits, made bets and slept in a bed with sheets made of the finest materials. He felt that this time was the best of his life.

The younger brother unfortunately did not have such luck. He was quite miserable for ten days. Not being able to see took a heavy toll on him but being simple minded got him into the most trouble. He injured himself constantly bumping into things, falling into the river, running into people. He was accosted by a pair of young boys who started out ridiculing him and ended up throwing rocks at him until he was unconscious. He spent a great deal of his ten days in anguish. Physical pain, frustration and hurt were ever present for the younger brother. 

As the final hour of the tenth day approached, the older brother sought out the younger brother. He had not concerned himself with his brother for ten days, and did not even know what he wished for. He found the younger brother asleep behind the tavern, bleeding and hungry. 

The older brother helped the younger brother up, cursing him for being so stupid and they traveled together back to the outskirts of town to find the tree. 

Just as they reached the tree, the final minute of the ten days ticked away. The older brother was left nearly naked, as most of his clothes were new and had been purchased with wish money. The younger brother's sight was restored and his mind returned to normal. 

The older brother strode up to the tree, shaking his fist. 

"Where are my clothes?" He demanded.

"I warned you this was temporary. Your ten days are over. What are you left with?" the tree said slowly, as he was even closer to expiring than when the brothers first met him.

The older brother made a rude gesture at the tree and turned back toward town.

The tree sighed heavily and asked the younger brother, "And you? What are you left with?"

The younger brother knelt down next to the dying tree, touched his fingers to the rough bark, a tear in his eye. He thanked the tree and told him, "Appreciation."

As years went by, the older brother only got angrier and more bitter. He tried to work even harder than before to duplicate the riches he had during his ten days, but it was never enough. It never made him happy and he spent the rest of his days cursing the tree, the king, the whole world.

The younger brother lived out his life in a state of graciousness. He marveled at sunsets, took joy in the sound of rain falling on leaves and was kind to everyone, especially those with a simple mind. Anytime something was bad or wrong, he found the good in it, appreciated that it wasn't as bad as it could have been and always found a reason to be grateful. 

The End.

And the moral of MY fairy tale is this: Without having to suffer anything debilitating, THIS is what I've learned from my dad. Be grateful. Enjoy the little things. It could always be worse. See the beauty in everything. Love you Dad!!